Do you want to know how to do acting from the lungs? Then you need to come down to the Benda Acting Academy! These are some of the things you will learn:
Greed
Envy
Joy
Thinking
Jealousy
and much more!
(Some days there might not be acting class because the teacher might be sleeping.)
“Land ho!”
“Finally, land. Move us in toward the land!”
“Yes, sir!”
(thirty minutes later)
“Ahh, beautiful land.”
“Look, sir! Natives!”
“Lalalalalalla! Houtiniii! Oukalakeatangowa!”
“Gun them down, boys, now!”
“Yes, sir!”
bang! pow! piuch! kapow!
“Ahh! They’re still coming! Run away!”
“All men back to the ship! Back to the ship! Back to the ship!”
“Yes sir!”
“Yes sir!”
“Yes sir!”
“Back to England we go!”
“I must find nuts now. Whoah, whoah, oh, an oak tree. My own lifetime supply of acorns!”
(30 seconds later)
“Ahh, this is the life. A nice, sturdy tree, an endless supply of nuts…”
“Yo, buddy, get out of my tree!”
“Well, well, well. What do we have here. It’s a chipmunk.”
“Yeah, so?”
“Well, I’m a squirrel. And I can beat you up, you little punk.”
“OK, Mr Squirrel.”
(The next day…)
“Yo, squirrel, come down here now, punk!”
“You know, chipmunk, I’m not going to come down. By the way, who are you calling punk, you punk? Now let me get one last good look at you before I scrabble up your face. Ahaha!”
“Surprised?”
“Y-y-you’re a-a wolf!”
“I know. And the rest of my pack is surrounding the tree. Mwahahaha.”
“Uh, can I have a minute to think it over?”
“Sure, but try anything funny and my pack will eat you before you can even say ‘nuts’.”
“OK. What am I going to do? I have an idea.”
(10 seconds later)
“For the medal of honor!!”
Gulp. Chew, chew. Swallow.
The End.
In a haunted house…
there was a closet…
and it was shaking.
And inside
was…was…
a lemon-scented candle and a man in a rubber ducky suit!
“Hello, I am a man-eating flower seed. I am sure you want to hear what I’m thinking and doing down here. This is what I’m thinking: eat men, eat men, eat men! Wait a second, it’s pop-up day!”
Bop!
“Look! A man!”
Nom.
“Help me! HELP!!!!! AWWWWWW!!”
Chew, chew
“HELP!!!”
Gulp!
Yummy!
The End.
“Brrrrrr, it’s freezing. Hey look, heat… Must go to it…”
(Five minutes later)
“Ahhh, like a hot tub. I’ve heard of those. Uh, wait a minute. A big city. Hotness. AHHHHHH FIRE!!!!”
Fuff!
“Hey look, everyone, it’s snowing!”
“No, you idiot, that’s just feathers.”
The End.
“Attention, captain on deck. At ease, Admiral. Status report.”
“Sir, all systems are green.”
“Good.”
BIIIIIRRRRGGGGGGG
“What the eel is going on?”
“Sir, we’ve lost visual!”
BIIIIIRRRRGGGGGGG
“Ah, sir, what is it?”
“This is no shark or octopus.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know.”
BIIIIIRRRRGGGGGGG
“Sir, I’ve managed to get a visual. There it is!”
“What, a rubber duckie?”
“Aww, look at it, sir.”
“Men, don’t underestimate it’s power, ’cause we’re going in the drink.”
“Got it sir.”
“Yes, sir.”
“OK, to the suits!”
(15 minutes later…)
“There it is! Kill it! Fire harpoons!”
Bzirre Bzirre
“Sir, it ate the harpoons.”
“Let me take care of this thing.”
“Ah, sir, are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“I’m sure.”
shple*punch * Ahh!* BOOM!* biirggge* shple
“Ahhhhhhhhh!”
“That takes care of him. Back to the sub.”
The End.
